Paralyzed
by StrangerThingsMileven
Summary: It was over, and everyone in Hawkins doesn't realize how much it effected each other.


**_A/N: So this is a story where it's basically set on Season 2 street. That means Mike doesn't have powers, and he isnt completly shutting off the world (Even if it is good for fanfics, it isn't really realistic now is it?)_**

 ** _The song is "Paralyzed" By NF  
_**

* * *

 _I'm paralyzed_

 _Where are my feelings?_

 _I no longer feel things_

 _I know I should_

 _I'm paralyzed_

 _Where is the real me?_

 _I'm lost and it kills me_

 _Inside_

 _I'm paralyzed_

It had been six months since the events of November, Nineteen Eighty-Three. Everyone had tried to move on. But there were still those moments; those moments when you know you're alone, those moments where the burden of sadness takes you over for a brief moment, those moments where you feel like you could've done more, when you blame yourself for what had happened to someone else, when you wish you took their place.

Everyone involved with the events had those moments. Joyce would just think about what happened, about what his son had to go through for a week, in a living hell, she would have dreams where he was still gone. Hopper had those moments when he thought about the decision he had made, about what it's worth to trade one person's life for another's, when he thought about his daughter, about how even saving a kid, putting one in even more danger made him feel like a bigger disappointment to her.

Jonathan had those moments when he realizes what mistakes he made, for taking an extra shift, for not believing his mom sooner, for not telling her, would his brother gotten out sooner if he didn't do these things? Nancy had those moments when she thought about Barb, a girl who would've had a better future than herself, who stuck to the rules, who she should've stuck by, instead of going to hook up with a boy.

Dustin had those moments when he realized what he had done, he felt he didn't do enough, that he should've brought more to help than snacks, that he shouldn't've focused so much on the pudding. Will had those moments when he thought about the upside down, what he could've done better not to hurt anyone, to protect himself for once. Lucas had those moments when he thought about unfaithful he had been to his friends, for betraying El, for fighting Mike, for not helping as much as he would've liked.

Mike has those moments, probably a little more than the others, when he just wishes he could've done better. Where he didn't yell at her, tell her there was something wrong with her, where he could've protected her from the bad men, where he could've known sooner. _Where he could've saved her_. He would never forgive himself for that, for just sitting there watching, in too much shock to help her, to spare her pain. Yeah, he had those moments, and they were frequent, and they were hard.

In the beginning, right after she disappeared, he had hope, hope that she would come back. After the first week, he began to have those moments, at first they weren't frequent, maybe once or twice a week. But after the first month, he had them every other day.

He started losing his kindness, his jumpy personality, with every day, his heart would get a little bit colder, he would get a little bit more temperamental, a little bit easier to aggravate, he started swearing, a lot, He originally only swore when El was in danger, now he would swear more than Dustin.

If you had met this boy right after the events, you would've thought he was a good kid, a kid with good grades, who was funny, who never swore, who was nice to everybody. If you met the same kid now, you could see a hint of coldness in his eyes, a kid who could barely go four sentences without swearing, a kid who looked like he would fight you if you said one thing out of line. You would meet a kid who had been forced to grow up, not by choice, but by personal life experience. You would meet a kid whose face was hardened by disappointment. You would meet a kid who had lost.

He had lost his kindness to the world, because he did that once, and all the world gave back to him was pain, and heartbreak.

 _I sit back and I watch it, hands in my pockets_

 _Waves come crashing over me but I just watch 'em_

 _I just watch em'_

 _I'm under water but I feel like I'm top of it_

 _I'm at the bottom and I don't know what the problem is_

 _I'm in a box_

 _But I the one who locked me in_

 _Suffocating and I'm running out of oxygen_

She could see all those moments, all the moments where she wished she could've been there to help him, to tell him it's not his fault. To tell them all that they shouldn't worry. She doesn't blame Mike for what he has become. His heart was still there, he just unknowingly buried it down with sadness, grief, guilt, disappointment, and pain.

 _ **He had lost his kindness, the person to be kind for.**_

 _I'm paralyzed_

 _Where are my feelings?_

 _I no longer feel things_

 _I know I should_

 _I'm paralyzed_

 _Where is the real me?_

 _I'm lost and it kills me_

 _Inside_

 _I'm paralyzed_

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 ** _A/N: I hope you guys liked it! Send me anything you want me to write or to prioritize on adding chapters too!_**


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